Isaiah 55:8 For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, Saith the LORD.
April is the month that we see new life springing up everywhere. We hope for a better tomorrow and we look for signs of life. April is the month my son would have been born. During my counseling -as part of closure -we had a ceremony to give him dignity. According to my estimate, from a 16 year old’s memory, his due date would have been April 26th, 1986. The name I chose for him is Paul Daniel. I prayed and asked the Lord to show me what my child was and sure enough, of all places, in Jungle Jim’s I turned the corner and there he was, My heart stopped and I was stunned at what I believed God showed me- a replica.
At my next counseling session with Cathy I told her what happened. She said ” yes” without fail every woman she has ever counseled that asked God- was revealed to them the sex and sometimes the name of their child. I was amazed and grateful to know but deeply sad that I never held him in my arms. Did I just make all this up in my head to cope with an excruciating reality? Here is the answer….
This past Wednesday I was feeling the need to share with my son, Drew, on the phone, that his brother would be 34 at the end of this month. I was sharing with Drew to honor his memory. I said that he must have something to do with everything going on and that I am sure he loves us. Drew hit the apple phone like and we ended our conversation. The next morning, April 4, I went to work as usual. I was feeling emotional from seeing the movie Unplanned and the contact that I had with Paul’s father earlier in the week. We have not seen each other or spoken in probably 25 years. He said he has had many “what ifs”? over the years and we have agreed to meet and talk to help with healing for both of us.
I was standing there and a young man walked in and he said he needed a new badge. I said “Okay” lets go back in the room where I make them and he handed me his badge and the name said Paul. In my spirit I felt something. Not a common or popular name and you don’t see it with young men much at all. Next thing my daughter Maggie is texting me to say ” Mom my phone has 4% left and my charger isn’t working” Oh no, I usually get a text when she is at the bus stop and with 4% left I couldn’t chance it, so I drove home and went in the house. No book bag. School lunch out of the fridge. No Maggie. She went to the bus stop and I would need to Trust God that she made it safely. Something beckoned me to go downstairs and even open the bathroom door and there on the shower floor was a balloon..It said ” Happy Birthday”. The balloon was left over from my son Christian’s 28th birthday and had made it’s way downstairs. I had just taken a shower in there- and it was NOT there the previous evening.
I was taken aback and feeling strange. I got in my car and drove the quarter mile back to work and went in. Then more contractors. I made his badge, he was from a company called Daniels. I was stunned and overcome by emotion. Two contractors that spell Paul Daniel and a ‘Happy Birthday’ balloon to boot. All this on 4-4 with a phone on 4%. Yes, again 444. My God showed me Paul’s birthday is on 4/4. I was so emotional I almost didn’t make it through the day. Two people commented on the look of my face. I couldn’t hide my emotion and the shock and awe of God’s sovereign hand on my life. I felt like I was in the twilight zone. Finally, the longest day ever was over and it was time to go home. I picked up Maggie so we could buy a new charger but first a trip to Verizon for my son, Christian. I walked up to the counter and gave him my name and the lady to the left of me said ” Do you know so and so”? I said “yes I do” and then she asked ” Do you know my daughter Rebecca”? I said “yes she gave me my Starfish pendant at work.” “Her mother said Rebecca told her about our meeting and how it touched her. This was the day I prayed for confirmation about starting this blog that I was given the Starfish pendant which I had on in the store. This sealed the deal.
I asked Maggie if she wanted to go get some birthday cupcakes so we could honor her brother and she said “yes”. We had a small honoring of him and I prayed with gratitude to a Mighty personal God. Later that evening, Maggie said her phone was charged to 100% and didn’t think she needed her new charger, She was not sure what happened but I know…He is 100% Real and His ways are higher than our ways.
Hebrews 2:4 ” God also bearing them witness, both with signs and wonders, and with divers miracles, and gifts of the Holy Ghost. according to His own will?”
Hebrews 1:3 ” The son radiates God’s own glory and expresses the very character of God, and He sustains everything by the mighty power of His command.”
God loves us all so much with a deep, personal love that is eternal. He will heal your heart and hold your hand. ~ Isaiah 41:13 ~ Jeremiah 29:11 ~ Psalm 34:18