1 Thessalonians 5 16-18 ~ 1 John 5:14 ~ John 15-16 ~ James 5:16
This journey of telling the truth has just begun and my human knees have been knocking . The moment of “I can’t believe I am really doing this” telling the story of the darkest moment in my life. My abortion at 16. The reality is sinking in that I am now actually doing what my beautiful counselor Cathy said she saw me doing one day in 2013, it is just hard to believe that the future is now here. Years of solitude, more wise counsel and the loving encouragement of the support team God has placed in my life has given me a measure of courage. The other element in this is that the choice was not mine and to gently tell the truth without causing more harm is the goal. The truth about the devastating effects needs to be told. I cannot keep silent because there are many who do. Many need to know they are Not alone.
This past week I was getting ready for work and having an inner dialogue and conversation with God. I was truthfully feeling alone and vulnerable and without the pat on the back of the human kind I was assuring myself that “Yes God I know you are with me and I know that I have your approval” about that moment when those thoughts were ending I was standing at the elevator door at work and I looked over to the left and there was a large canister with a box in it with the serial number 444 on it. Big and Bold. Underneath the number it said- water flow indicator. Living water! ( Isaiah 49:10) This number has been a reoccurring number for me since the 1990’s and it brings a great peace. I discovered I was born at 4:44 p.m. on my birth certificate and the numbers have never stopped showing up at profound moments in the over 2 decades since the revelation. I had essentially asked and needed God’s confirmation on this path that I am on and He answered me immediately like so many times in the past. The very next day at work an employee came in to have a new badge made. She began disassembling her badge and I looked and there was a small gold starfish sitting there. I asked her “Is that a starfish?” she said “yes” and I said ” I believe God has just answered me again” and proceeded to tell her about this blog and the name of it and that I would feel happy if it helped just one! Just like the Starfish Story we are mostly all familiar with. With tears in her eyes she handed me her pin and said” I want you to have it.” Her manager had just a couple of days prior given them to his employees and told them the Starfish Story. Coincidence?
After work that same day I went to my daughter’s basketball game and again was sitting there thinking to myself ” God I hope you are proud of me for doing this” and at that very moment a balloon came across the gymnasium and stopped and descended right down in front of me and the balloon said “Congratulations”. A boy quickly ran out on the court and grabbed it as the game was in play. Coincidence? After the game, I was at the gas station and went inside to pay. There was a man standing in front of me with two Monster drinks on the counter. The cashier said ” Sir I am sorry these are not two for $4.44 anymore.” Now understand this happens to me all the time and you can ask anyone who knows me, but I was even blown away. Again. ~ John 4:44
God answered me and showed me undoubtedly He is intimately involved and that is all I need to know. So please know if you have been led to this it is truly God and I pray this will help you in your journey of healing and growth and restoration. I met with Cathy my Forgiven and Set Free counselor yesterday as well. It has been almost 3 years since I have seen her and what a happy moment for us both ! I am looking forward to how this will continue to unfold and how God will bless all of us in this! ~ 2 Peter 3:9 ~ Acts 10:24