How does one find them self writing about one of the most terrible things Satan has schemed up? that which is abortion. In my case I believe it was Gods plan. I believe the course was set and truthfully my sanity has depended on this belief. I believe He created me with a boldness and a passion for the deeply wounded. I believe he knew I would toss pride and the cultural lies aside and speak His truth. I also know He knew exactly what would happen in my life as He did yours. He sees our sin and generational baggage and longs for us to be Free! John 8:36. ~ Proverbs 20:24 ~ Romans 8:28-29 ~ Jeremiah 29: 11-14, 1:5. ~ 1 Peter 2: 8-9.
Before joining the starfish on the beach I had a different life, from the time I can remember I was full of laughter and joy and a thirst to know everything about everything. As told by my dad I asked so many questions that my mom gave up answering them and just would answer “um hum”. I became so tired of that response and told her if she didn’t stop saying um hum the men in the little white jackets would come and take you away and take your um hum out! I was three years old. In fairness to my parents I may have been a handful. Insert laughter. ~ Proverbs 17:22.
I had amazing childhood friends who I have to this day. One of those friends named Susan and I decided at 4 or 5 years old to drink some beer out of her fathers mini fridge on a blistering hot day. I walked home across the street and took a really long nap. My mom was concerned and called Susan’s mom. “Bea do you know what could be wrong with Christy”? answer: “Yes Martha she and Susan got drunk, “I found the empty cans in the basement.” Susan and I still laugh to this day but I know God was protecting me. (us) Around that same age my brother and I ate a bottle of Flinstones vitamins with iron. We were visiting Fort Hamilton Hospital ER that evening. You see sometimes that boldness and curiosity landed me in trouble.
I also discovered at a young age that I would have dreams that would come true and could clearly see things I shouldn’t see or I thought I should’t anyway. Side note: ( did you know starfish can see in the dark?) This was frightening for a child and fear is not good. Only Fear of the Lord. I loved to dance and sing and would invite all my neighbors to my garage performances. My second grade teacher agreed to let me dance for my whole class…. Really Christy? I guess I thought I was that good…laughing now. ~ Joel 2:28. ~ 1 John 4:18.
Then a sad day. We moved from my idyllic childhood neighborhood. I changed schools too. NO! I didn’t want to. I loved things just the way they were! What now? A catholic school full of nuns, rules and OH MY I had to wear a uniform? My life is over. Oh well I was a kid and what control did I have over anything? Notta. ( borrowed from the Urban Dictionary). ~ Isaiah 46:10
God thought I needed to be infused with a good dose of Heroism too I believe. On an ordinary day.. Me, my brother Danny and my cousin Sarah were sitting in a car on a hill at the Children’s Home. My Aunt worked there and she had to run inside for but a brief moment…. Of course the car was knocked in reverse by a curious child. ( this time not me). We were going backwards in total terror. I do not know what I did but I stopped the car from Who knows what? hitting a tree? going all the way across the road? All my little girl strength sapped in a day…. Time for another nap. ~ Isaiah 43:13
Grade school was a typical experience. Insert Nuns and rules and never feeling religious enough. My gosh how many rosary’s must I say to be good? to be holy? I already knew God loved me and this was just weird. Or did I really know God Loved me? Maybe I want to be a nun when I grow up because that’s how you become holy. Hmm. The inner struggle with faith begins. Am I worthy unconditionally? How must I work to be holy? Answer: On another ordinary day in church my rebellious self couldn’t take it anymore. I was sitting by one of my closest friends in church in the 7th or 8th grade. I felt compelled to tie our shoelaces together because boy that would be so funny right? Joke was on me when we were spontaneously called up in front of church to read and probably sing. We had to learn fast about walking in sync and in one accord. Maybe it was kids like me who made the nuns mean? I don’t know. I am grateful to have not peed my pants because of laughing so hard and for not tripping in front of the entire school and faculty. I escaped that time but… ~ John 13:35
Humility was trailing close behind and it was about to find me….